My surprise 7th pregnancy

So as someone who has faced infertility .. I can say the one phrase from people I hate the most was “just relax and it’ll happen”.. well I did that many times and many of those times it didn’t happen.. but God help me.. for whatever reason.. this time it did happen..

So where I left off .. I found out my HSG test for my Fallopian tubes showed they were clear.. so my husband and I decided that we were done trying, but we weren’t abstaining .. So we planned a trip to disney and set it all up and were ready to go.. and my cycles were all over the place.. so we live life and enjoy each other and don’t give a care in the world.. I also started to take Myoinositol because I kept hearing how well it works with PCOS .. so i said why not..

Anyway I follow my Fitbit to see if I’m having my cycles.. and if you didn’t know.. the Fitbit can tell you that you are pregnant or if your period is going to start.. and I’m watching my resting heart rate.. and it’s going up and staying there when it’s supposed to be dropping so I can get my period..

I took a pregnancy test .. and I was pregnant.. and I’m just thinking no way.. This can not be real.. so luckily I had progesterone that I had from when I was pregnant with my daughter and I start to take that.. I frantically stalk my doctor on facebook and message her.. asking her if she can help me with this pregnancy cause I was not a patient anymore technically .. and she agrees and welcomes me with open arms.. like it was a Sunday and she had me come in Monday.. I go in and they do the HCG .. and things are going up.. I’m on the Lovenox too.. and numbers are climbing and I’m so scared.. so she ends up going on vacation and this was when I was supposed to get an ultrasound to make sure baby is where it’s supposed to be..

A tech is there.. and she is checking my belly for the baby .. I’m 6 weeks along and she can not find the baby .. she just sees sack and there is nothing.. I am utterly devastated.. like how could this happen again .. I contemplate stopping my meds.. but I continue just in case.. I get a call from the clinic to go into the hospital to get checked again more thorough..

This was literally the next day .. and I’m praying so hard that there is a baby .. I get there to the hospital at 9 am in the morning and they take me back.. the tech is talking to me.. and I’m like.. I know you can’t tel me anything .. and she’s like I’m so sorry I cant.. and I’m just crying.. as she’s checking me.. She wishes me luck and sends me on my way.. I get a call from the clinic that they got the information from the tech and will be in touch with me..

So I’m waiting .. like my heart is pounding for hours.. because I am so scared.. I finally get a call at 5 pm.. from the clinic/.. she’s like did they talk to you in the hospital and I said no.. she’s like oh no they were supposed to talk to you there.. and I’m like nope.. and she’s like well there’s a baby there and everything looks great.. I am just floored.. how is this possible.. I am thanking God left and right.

This was my final pregnancy ..my 7th pregnancy ,, it was full of fear .. like seriously every single doctors appointment I wanted to pass out from how hard my heart was beating.. I was just waitin for loss.. I remember visiting my obgyn and th nurse could not find the heart beat… and from then on I swear I had some PTSD.. my bp was high .. and i was diagnoed with high blood pressure at 20 weeks or so.. and from then They said I had gestational diabetes and I was monitered like crazy ..

Weekly check ups.. NST/s and protein in urine checks.. literally the day of my csection I was having preeclampsia symptoms..

And with that I end this series.. I am finally done with this journey. But I want to leave this platform open for information.

I have/had Preeclampsia, HELLP, MTHFR, liver disease, Covid 19, shingles, and PCOS, post partum depression,… I’ve had 3 csections, one of which was an emergency, I’ve had a NICU baby . .. I nursed all my kids but also formula fed them too… i want anyone who has any questions to ask me. I want to eventually make a YouTube page. I have a tik tok .. I’m just nervous about going in front of a camera, but soon it’ll happen.

Fertility clinic 5th miscarriage

So after I had my second daughter.. here we were at it again .. trying to get pregnant .. trying to finish our family.. I had to have a hysterosalpingogram HSG, to make sure my tubes were clear and this was protocol for if you were going to do another IUI.. things came back blocked on one side.. ..so we moved on and tried and had a failed IUI,, then we didn’t time it well so we ended doing another timed intercourse with meds.. and I get pregnant.. but things just aren’t right.. my HCG was 9.. that was the lowest I’ve ever had .. and of course I’m googling everywhere and things can go both ways..

I’m praying to God.. and asking for prayers and my numbers are doubling.. and going up .. and then they stop.. and things get wary when I realize I’m feeling a pain in my back.. and it’s a continuous pain and I’m getting scared that it could be an ectopic pregnancy .. with my tube being blocked.. I knew this was a possibility .. I go in for an ultrasound and there is no sac… no baby … and they don’t know where the baby attached… They are continuing to watch my HCG numbers and it’s dropping on their own.. but very slowly .. and my doctor becomes concerned…

So when I tell her I’m in pain.. she jumps up and has me get methotrexate and on her day off .. had me meet her in her office so she could give me the shot to end this pregnancy.. the one thing I dreaded .. to end a pregnancy that I wanted… but that just would’ve survive with this circumstances.. I had such a hard time with this and I cried so hard… and then finally around midnight it hit me.. like a ton of bricks.. the overwhelming need to vomit.. and I just cried and vomited.. all night.. and finally come the morning I slept.. and grieved the loss of another baby .. and at this point I was just done..

I felt like I was selfish.. that I kept trying and trying to have another baby and with 5 losses in my belt.. I was selfish and I was so done.. I had 2 beautiful little girls .. and I was done.. I talked to my husband and we both decided that we were finished..

I decided months after my ectopic that I was going to get another hysterosalpingogram HSG .. and to my surprise my tubes were both open.. and I was good with that .. and we were done.. and we moved on ..

Fertility clinic 4th miscarriage

So when we finally went to the fertility clinic they finally diagnosed me with PCOS, like they literally looked at my ovaries and there you could see the cysts all over them.. I also found out that with my MTHFR they recommended that if and when I got pregnant I would be on Lovenox which could help with blood clots which MTHFR is known for. Also they did see I had low progesterone and I would have to be on suppositories when and if I got pregnant again.

The biggest thing they got from me was that I don’t ovulate on my own. So the first thing we decided to do was timed intercourse.. I was put on Femara instead of Clomid (Clomid made me feel horrible and it made me super moody) I was also to be put on a drug that made me ovulate and we would time the intercourse. Our first round it just didn’t work.. our second round we decided to do an IUI. I got pregnant right away.. So I was on the Lovenox and the progesterone .. and we found out we were pregnant with twins..

But as soon as we found this out.. we lost one of our twins.. and I was heart broken.. I can tell you what.. that finding out you’re pregnant with twins definitely turns your head.. and then when I was finally accepting that this was happening to me.. that dream was ripped away from me.. It was so very difficult to grieve this baby .. I did not miscarry .. you don’t bleed with this happens.. Your body reabsorbs the baby .. and then it’s like it never happened.. and its heart breaking because I saw two beautiful heartbeats.. and at 7 weeks that was it.. gone..

Grieving while pregnant is a different sadness.. like you’re so happy you have this other baby .. but there was another baby there.. and you hope that it’s never forgotten..

I had so much anticipation that when we went to the fertility clinic that all my troubles would be gone.. and then when we lost our 4th baby .. my goodness it definitely made me bitter.. and I had a really rough time with that pregnancy.. every cramp.. every kick.. any time i had an appointment I just knew this baby would be taken away from me too.. but no I had my daughter .. and I had some massive depression after I had her. But things got easier.. days got easier and I was okay ..

2nd and 3rd miscarriage

So after my first miscarriage we didn’t stop trying to conceive. I was taking Chinese herbs like Dong Quai and Vitex. We just kept trying and in 2014 out of some miracle I get pregnant. At this point we don’t have a protocol for keeping this pregnancy… I hadn’t received testing to see if I needed any kind of medical help.. not too long after I get that positive I start to miscarry… I was 6 weeks.. And this time so very painful.

A month later I get pregnant again.. at this point my doctor recommends going on progesterone (he only says this because I mention I had Low progesterone with my first pregnancy and maybe this is why I keep miscarrying.. I also am sent out to get HCG ran to follow the progress.. my numbers are out of wack and something just doesn’t seem right. So I am sent in to get an ultrasound.. Where they only see a sac and no baby .. I am taken off the progesterone and I start to miscarry.. again super painful.

My doctor orders the miscarriage blood panel and I finally get some answers. I am diagnosed with MTHFR..but my doctor tells me that there isn’t enough research about this mutation and they don’t even know if this could cause miscarriages.. He puts me on Clomid and tells me to take this for a couple of months to see if it does anything for me.. it does nothing but make me bitter and angry.

So after all this time wasted I finally go and see a fertility doctor.

Nurse call

Okay nurse called me with doctors notes. Said I need to eat healthy, lose weight, and exercise. While it’s serious I really keep at it to help stop the progression. Alright … now to get this going and stick with it for my health and for my family. Guess I got my wake up call.

Small update

So Thursday I met with my doctor. I’m a new patient so my new patient appointment isn’t until May.. I just didn’t think I could wait that long.. anyway I had lab work run and then an ultrasound to see what’s happening.

Of course MyChart releases results pretty quick and I looked at them… even though my husband told me over and over to not look… so my blood work was all in range… my ultrasound showed no issues to my organs….

Except my liver… the tech literally just put fatty liver.

Now of course I’m googling like a crazy person and I am genuinely scared. I mean as a kid every food was heavy fat… my folks are from other countries… they didn’t eat low fat…. so ya I don’t know why I was feeling my liver. Maybe I’m more sensitive to it. But Dr Google says that fatty liver is a silent disease and a lot of people have it but never know it till it’s too late… and you can’t reverse it but you can stall it…

So anyway I’m waiting for Monday and hoping my doctor can fill me in on more info and what I can do to help this not progress…

Update

The uncomfortableness has subsided but now I feel random cramping stinging pain once in a while. Not sure if gallbladder issues or not since now my stomach is becoming distended … doctor tomorrow to see what is wrong… prayers appreciated ❤️

If it’s not one thing… it’s another

Sooooooo I think 2021 is trying to top 2020…. I started feeling not a pain but more of a discomfort on my right side like right under my rib… didn’t think anything of it till it started to radiate to my shoulder blade…. so I asked my mother in law and a good friend of mine what their symptoms were for when they had gallstones and mine are exactly that to a T… but I am NOT a doctor so I will need to get this checked out… but since it’s tolerable and not painful I think I might just try to see how it goes.. so wish me luck… hopefully I won’t need surgery..

😭

My cycles ..

So this is an off post. I know I have not yet posted about my journey with pregnancy loss. I will be working on that next… so a few things have been going on with me that are concerning.. one being my hair is thinning bad.. and I’ve read that’s normal after having a baby.. out of three babies .. this one is the only one I actually have lost hair with… Phillip is going to be a year old here in a few days.. and I have bald spots…. like I never had that with the girls… so I guess I’m going to wait and see if it starts to come back since he’s going to be one….. I really hope it comes back..

Another concerning thing are my cycles.. there was a point where my periods were ever 30 days.. and then it started to get longer.. 35 days … my last period was December 3.. and it was normal.. it lasted 6 days.. it seemed like a few days after having that period I had a couple weeks of brown blood discharge.. it just would not go away.. finally it did stop on the third week and I was waiting to get my regular cycle… well if I’m going by my normal 35 days .. I’m 27 days late. Also I know I’m not pregnant.. husband had a vasectomy and well you can’t get pregnant without doing the deed.. any it’s been months… so I’m so lost.. could it be weight gain? Stress? Hormones being off? I mean when I was trying to get pregnant early on I did have some cycles being 60 days.. before I went to the fertility place and was put on meds.. so I guess I need to ask.. after you had your babies.. was there one cycle that just didn’t show? And then you went back to normal? Like is it dangerous to not have a cycle? My uterus was checked when I was having the discharge and they didn’t find anything… so I’m just lost…

I don’t want to be put on birth control .. I’m totally fine not having a period as long as it’s safe and healthy.. anyone have a clue?

Covid 19 antibody test results

So I got my test results today. I did test positive. So I did have covid. I’m surprised with how my body responded. I literally started with a low grade fever. Crackling in my lungs and coughing. I did self treat though… like the moment my lungs felt heavy I was already taking the steroid and albuterol inhalers.

I was already taking vitamins before I got sick. Vitamin C, D, Magnesium, b12, and b6. I did continue the vitamins and I started to take oil of oregano just in case. I also started taking my bp meds again (I had stopped taking them because my blood pressure was getting better and it was getting back to normal, but when I got sick I could feel it being high so I just went back on my meds. I originally was on it after I had Phillip since I had issues with my bp before and after my pregnancy. I started to have preeclampsia symptoms at the end of my pregnancy and my body didn’t bounce back as quick as I thought it was)..

I also started to take aspirin … my husband when he had covid had thickening of the blood.. the nurse said covid patients have thicker blood for whatever reason… and are shown to have blood clots … which can be super dangerous… she said her mom had covid and was in the hospital for a week.. got better and then had chest pains 2 days after coming home… she had blood clots in her heart.. they treated her and she was fine… but see this scared me since I have risks because of my MTHFR of blood clotting issues… so as a precaution I’ve been taking the aspirin.

I’m just so grateful I only had a mild case of Covid. I did have the lack of smell and taste. Like I could still smell and taste.. but things didn’t taste right or smell right… I’m still dealing with that today. I almost feel like I did when I was pregnant and when I had aversions to food from the morning sickness the smell and taste were just off… I feel like that almost exactly just no morning sickness and no I’m not pregnant . Husband had a vasectomy.

I guess another way to explain it… is like when you burn your tongue and things don’t taste right… and when you have a cold and your nose is stuffy and things don’t smell… that’s what I had… but my nose wasn’t stuffy… it was so weird… I’m praying I don’t have lasting side effects from having covid.

I know I was a mild case and I’m grateful for that… I have so many friends and family lose loved ones and it’s devastating. I’m praying for everyone… for all sick to be healed… for those who lost loved ones to be consoled… for this horrible virus to go away.