HSG news

Okay so my appointment was at 1:30.. I got there at 1. They let me go back pretty quick I was surprised… so I was in the waiting room for not too long.. they take me to the room…

it wasn’t bad… they asked a bunch of questions like why I’m having this done and what my diagnosis was last time so left tube blocked and ectopic pregnancy…

so they realize I have an iodine allergy… well they had to change everything up… I’m sent to the bathroom to change and pee in a cup for a pregnancy test.. I come out sit in a chair and wait…

finally they put me on the table. I’m laying there and they are like “sorry we have to change everything out so it’s going to take a while” and I’m totally fine with that cause it’s a break from my real world and it’s quiet…

then they come in and they said the pregnancy test didn’t work so they have to do it again… which never happens lol… okay I kept telling them it’s me!! I’m complicated and everything gets complicated around me!!

Haha it’s fine. They finally get it and it’s negative. Of course. They do the hysterosalpingogram with whatever other stuff they got … and 5 min … it took 5 min to actually get this done lol … it took 45 min to get it ready.. haha I asked if anyone needed the room after me. Luckily no one did so that was a relief. I’d hate to hold someone up.

So the results:

My right tube is not blocked

My left tube issssssssssss NOT blocked!!!!!!!!

I jumped for joy seriously. Praise the Lord my tubes are not blocked!!!

Thank you Jesus!! I was so worried going in… I prayed so hard I asked for so many prayers from my friends and they were heard!! Thank you God.

So now we know!!!

.

So looks like my period started… on cd65… on April fools day.. so because it’s here I’m going to get a hysterosalpingogram.. so that’s scheduled for the 8th.

I’m asking for prayers that my tubes are open… I’m scared that both will be blocked …. 🙁

Tick Tock goes my biological clock

… it’s true.. it’s ticking down and I just celebrated my 33rd birthday… I’m seeing more and more pregnancy announcements and I’m feeling blah… hubs and I made an agreement that we’d stop trying when I turned 35… (he would be 36..)

And now I’m feeling the push to want to try again… even though I’m on cd 64 with no period in sight….. don’t get me wrong .. having no period is pretty awesome when you can have sex whenever you want 😉

And while it’s enjoyable I just start to wonder like could I be pregnant? Should I buy some ovulation kits?.. is that even worth it? Should I buy a pregnancy test?? Even though I know it’ll be negative

I guess I’m just envious… of all these women popping up around me getting pregnant… and I’m in the abyss lost and stuck cause I can’t do anything right now anyway….. I really don’t want to do the 10 day pills to start my period cause I wanted to get my cycle as naturally as possible…

I guess I can look at the good things that I’m getting to enjoy because we aren’t trying

-having sex whenever we want and it being spontaneous

-being able to work out .. like a ton of cardio

-drinking tons of caffeine and loving it!! ☕️

-not having to take care of a baby

-sleeping in

-not having to heal after having a baby

So I guess those are all the pros I can enjoy. And I might as well enjoy it and my body and my husband. I always come back to God. He knows what I can handle and He knows when the time is right. He also knows that maybe just maybe 2 babies is all I needed in my life. 🤷‍♀️

Anyway I hope all is well with everyone else.

Update

I feel like all I do is provide updates… but life gets in the way and I’m working and dealing with the kids and my mother in law is staying with us so I guess things have just been crazy.

So nothing has been going on fertility wise… I had the bad period after the ectopic and that was it… I’m now on cd 52… I’ve had cramping off and on… peed on tons of pregnancy tests all to be negative…

I was told to come in and take the pills that start a period but it doesn’t even matter at this point… in January we are taking the kids to Disney world and I just don’t want to be pregnant or bring a newborn with me…

I feel like I’d be taking that away from my 2 girls… so at this point we aren’t trying at all. And it’s been actually enjoyable! I’m actually enjoying my husband. Drinking coffee .. losing weight…. exercising … enjoying life. No having to keep track of anything… and bonus no period.

We’ve decided we’d wait and just let my body heal and my period will show up I’m sure. It always has. It may not be right away but I’ve got time.

So that’s all for me. Nothing exciting.

Some fertility health updates and what not

First of all I want to say I am down 20 lbs!! I’ve been exercising 5 days a week if possible and I’ve lowered my carb intake. I’m not full keto.. But I’ve adopted the lower carb life and I’m liking it. Yay

Okay about the fertility … well as many of you know I went through an ectopic pregnancy… I took methotrexate and for 10 days I bled, cramped, and passed large clots… yuck. It sucked and I was in a lot of pain. So finally it was over. So I scheduled an appointment to meet with my fertility doctor to kind of discuss what the next step is for my husband and I. So he told me something that super concerned me.. he said I have severe PCOS.. I guess a normal woman at my age has an amh between 1-4… and high is 5-10… and I’m at 9.7… so that’s fun… so I have eggs they just aren’t maturing … blah … anyways we were talking about maybe what we should do..

So he gave me options..

A. Natural: he said we can do all natural but with my left tube being blocked and my pcos he suspected it would take 7-8 years to conceive…

so that’s a no go

B. IUI: so doing another IUI… but the left tube is still blocked and there is a chance my right tube may have some blockage not sure

C. HSG: so doing another hysterosalpingogram he said this would be good if I’m doing an IUI but he said it’s not 100% and sometimes the test exaggerates the blockage but I could do that for piece of mind and do the IUI once I get results.

D. Fallopian Tube Surgery: he pretty much told me he would prefer not to put me through surgery… it’s expensive and if the tube is too blocked he’ll take an expensive picture for me.. he said he could unblock the tube if it’s possible. But I’d be out of commission for a day or two…

so that’s a no go

E. IVF … and he said with my beliefs (I believe life begins at fertilization so I don’t feel comfortable freezing them, adopting them out, or destroying them) they could take out 5 eggs. Fertilize them and only half will fertilize and then put the 2 or 3 back in.. or they could do less if I wanted. He told me he has worked with many different beliefs and caters to whatever they want. The husband and I sign a paper telling him exactly what we want to do and he has to sign it too and it gets notarized and they can’t deviate from that.

So those are our choices and I’m just at a loss… I just started sobbing in the car…. it’s not the money that bothers me.. it’s the fact that I even have to go this route….

So I talked with the husband and I think we are going to do another HSG and if the right tube is blocked then I won’t even try doing another IUI… I just can’t put myself through that again…

my fear though is having another ectopic because we don’t know for sure how blocked that left tube is…

I want to do IVF if we get the blocked tube answer and at this point we have met our deductible and don’t have to pay… I just don’t know if I want to put myself through that though…. it’s tough on the body and I have 2 kids… and blah… I mean the only good thing is my mother in law is coming into town and that might work out maybe…since she won’t leave till April…

blah 😦

I’m not pregnant

This is something I’m happy to see… which is such a hard feeling because of all the times I wanted to be pregnant. My Hcg is 2.3 so I’m considered not pregnant.

Still having an issue with my mom saying I should’ve just let it resolve on its own… so that’s fun….. dunno what to do with her.. my numbers were low.. maybe it could’ve resolved on its own…. but what if they didn’t… and I already have a blocked tube…

it’s like I didn’t want to risk it…. sigh…. she’ll never understand I guess… and I gotta deal with that.. oh well.

Didn’t think it could be worse

Woke up in so much pain this morning…. like my uterus was falling out of me and every movement was soreness… got up to use the bathroom and TMI … you ladies know the woosh feeling… well I felt that then sat on the toilet and felt like everything was falling out of me….

I thought yesterday was bad … but today is definitely worse and I feel nauseas and in pain…. heating pad is on high… and I feel like a horrible mom cause it’s snowing and not too cold and my oldest is off school and they so badly want to go in the snow… but I can barley stand for long periods of time….. my legs are cramping so bad too…

I also have a physical to go to today…so that’s going to be interesting…. was thinking maybe I shouldn’t go… (I’ve rescheduled this thing like 5 times already) I keep wanting to go to check every thing out since I’ve been on these strong meds to try to get pregnant I want to make sure my body is healthy…

I know it’s going to show me over weight… I already know this and the bloating has added weight too. … so that’s fun.. gonna go back to Keto since I lost a lot of weight on it before I had the ectopic and got super depressed… I’m an emotional eater gah…. my biggest flaw…

anyway I really am trying this time… jumping back up and doing this… now this whole time my doctor at the fertility clinic kept telling me to take it easy… and I’m like ohhhh I’m fine…… well I get it now….. cause there is no way I’m getting on a treadmill till this is over….

anyway let’s hope I’m physically okay. I really don’t want to drive in this snow storm but I wanna get this physical to see how I am. Only good thing is because of the storm a lot of people canceled and my appointment was at 1 and now it’s at 11 and I live down the street so not far at all.

So anyway looks like the couch is my friend today and I’ll have some disappointed kids today but I can’t get up so … 🤷‍♀️